A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini. Jackie Gleason More Quotes by Jackie Gleason More Quotes From Jackie Gleason One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser! Jackie Gleason pow honeymooners these-days The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. Jackie Gleason inspiring food funny If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it. Jackie Gleason wisdom wise thinking Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos. Jackie Gleason waking-life creativity dream Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. Jackie Gleason inspiration beautiful funny Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy. Jackie Gleason life-is-great feelings joy Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at. Jackie Gleason pimples drinking looks Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse. Jackie Gleason grief golf wind A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges. Jackie Gleason tough challenges people I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible. Jackie Gleason inspirational philosophy mean Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us. Jackie Gleason god-has-a-sense-of-humor sense-of-humor doe Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle. Jackie Gleason deer play golf I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings. Jackie Gleason alcoholics meetings differences The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch. Jackie Gleason scotch glasses song Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged. Jackie Gleason drink forget remember Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. Jackie Gleason marriage husband thinking Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl. Jackie Gleason fake passion girl It is difficult for people to appreciate their own laughter unless you show them some pathos along the way. Jackie Gleason laughter appreciate people I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent. Jackie Gleason talent humility use The worst thing you can do with money is save it. Jackie Gleason worst-things worst can-do
