Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place. Craig Kilborn More Quotes by Craig Kilborn More Quotes From Craig Kilborn Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.' Craig Kilborn president white house A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone. Craig Kilborn phones college drinking Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman. Craig Kilborn successful dog funny Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card. Craig Kilborn wife gold cards In a new poll 54 percent believed President Bush exaggerated the size of Iraq's missile threat. Hey, he's a guy. Craig Kilborn iraq guy president My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.' Craig Kilborn misanthrope brother people I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California. Craig Kilborn california simple people I pride myself on being down-to-earth. I’m from the Midwest. People who go into show business are screwed up. I romanticized about having a serene life. Craig Kilborn show-business shows people The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on. Craig Kilborn moved-on past years Critics say Arnold has no previous government experience, but advisers say he's clearly the most qualified Austrian, ex-Mr. Universe in the race. Craig Kilborn critics government race Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek. Craig Kilborn causes vices winning Or as hockey player Sergei Fedorov knows it, 'The day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.' Craig Kilborn hockey player sleep Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II Craig Kilborn kindergarten vote running I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way. Craig Kilborn views people thinking President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one. Craig Kilborn vietnam president war Saddam Hussein is about to face trial and George Bush wants to execute him. Not because of the war crimes, but because Saddam is beating him in the polls. Craig Kilborn hussein trials war The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk. Craig Kilborn president hurt numbers With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something. Craig Kilborn weekend cutting responsibility President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before. Craig Kilborn moon president men There are 300,000 new jobs and Bush said he's confused, 'Can I take credit for good news that I didn't even make up?' Craig Kilborn new-job confused jobs
