Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome. Zach Braff More Quotes by Zach Braff More Quotes From Zach Braff I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people. Zach Braff race white people A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa. Zach Braff evil people thinking I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog Zach Braff rights dog mean At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter Zach Braff care winter mean First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms. Zach Braff college men sex Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him. Zach Braff cages winning thinking I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left; the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big. Zach Braff morning giving boys I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. 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Early on, we would go to rehearsals with my dad and I was like the mascot for the backstage crew. That was a big part of my childhood, so I dreamed of one day doing a play in London. Zach Braff dad sports school I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself. Zach Braff eye blow morning I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents. Zach Braff fighting grieving baby Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them. Zach Braff missing trying children I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. 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Zach Braff junk play running If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as I connect with my fans. Zach Braff fans winning country
