I can't help thinking the failed New York bomber would've done far more damage if he'd simply driven throught Times Square in a Toyota. Frankie Boyle More Quotes by Frankie Boyle More Quotes From Frankie Boyle For 3 Million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person. Frankie Boyle scotlandgivinghands Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad. Frankie Boyle countryamericayears We don't live in a shared reality, we each live in a reality of our own, and causing upset is often the price of trying to reach each other. It's always easier to dismiss other people than to go through the awkward and time consuming process of understanding them. We have given 'taking offense' a social status it doesn't deserve: it's not much more than a way of avoiding difficult conversations. Frankie Boyle understandingrealitypeople As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years. Frankie Boyle airportshumorfunny On the most Scottish thing he'd ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night. And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door. He then took out his keys and went inside. Frankie Boyle humornightfunny I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody. Frankie Boyle fightingsorrymean I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer. Frankie Boyle surround-soundhumorfunny What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman! Frankie Boyle wallhumorfunny My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic. Frankie Boyle dadreadingfunny The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves. Frankie Boyle scotlandhumorfunny Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist! Frankie Boyle humorplayfunny Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk. Frankie Boyle gaypoliticalpeople The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy? Frankie Boyle sexyfunnydirty Stephen Hawking: Brainier than Kurt Cobain's garage wall. Frankie Boyle wallhumorfunny Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke. Frankie Boyle humorfunnythinking It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive. Frankie Boyle navyhumorfunny Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"? Frankie Boyle humorwhitefunny The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long. Frankie Boyle average-lifehumorfunny I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to? Frankie Boyle humorfunnythinking I want to trace my father, could you suggest a good marker pen? Frankie Boyle markerswantfather
