I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh. Allen Carr More Quotes by Allen Carr More Quotes From Allen Carr Wouldn’t that be an incredibly stupid thing to do? To say ‘I never want to smoke again’, then spend the rest of your life saying ‘I’d love a cigarette.’ That’s what smokers who use the Willpower Method do. No wonder they feel so miserable. They spend the rest of their lives desperately moping for something that they desperately hope they will never have. Allen Carr rest-of-your-life stupid want A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere. Allen Carr atmosphere crowds comedian You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home. Allen Carr suits hero home If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial. Allen Carr goes-on attitude firsts I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people. Allen Carr nicole mets people I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved. Allen Carr wells hate say-anything I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl. Allen Carr college would-be art I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them. Allen Carr montreal hardcore thinking I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself. Allen Carr excited meetings thinking I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy. Allen Carr get-up lazy believe I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish. Allen Carr rubbish hate thinking I didn't really want to be a comedian. Allen Carr comedian want I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration. Allen Carr frustrated frustration men The whole business of smoking is like forcing yourself to wear tight shoes just to get the pleasure of taking them off. Allen Carr shoes pleasure smoking Modern man threw a brick through his own window in order to sell himself a burglar alarm. Allen Carr bricks men order
