People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists. Jack Dee More Quotes by Jack Dee More Quotes From Jack Dee One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it. Jack Dee my-friends weekend murder In my local newspaper, they had this advert: 'please look after your neighbours in the cold weather'. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, and do you know, not once has she come round to see if I'm all right. The lazy cow hasn't even taken her milk in for a fortnight. Jack Dee taken doors years I tend not to trust people who live in very tidy houses. I know that on the surface there is nothing wrong with a person being well-ordered and disciplined. Nothing, except that it leaves the impression of that person having lived in the confines of a stark institution which, although he or she has long since left, remains within. Jack Dee house long people I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers. Jack Dee hate clever thinking I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways. Jack Dee curry cooking trying I have had issues with depression all my life, and it's probably true to say there was a tendency towards it even when I was very young, during my schooldays. There was often - and this is quite common with comics - a sense of not feeling as if I belonged anywhere. Jack Dee issues feelings depression But I like going to church. If you've been brought up in the Church of England, it feels like visiting an elderly relative. And I think it's important that part of the kids' education is knowing about the Bible. Jack Dee elderly kids thinking Make lots of money. Enjoy the work. Operate within the law. Choose any two of three Jack Dee three law two And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I'm laughing or smiling. Jack Dee real laughing people The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes. Jack Dee comedian attitude laughing Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there'. Jack Dee matter air trying I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second. Jack Dee comedian comedy I spent the first 25 years of my life not knowing what I wanted to do. Jack Dee knowing years firsts Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other. Jack Dee coins two-sides tragedy I love mixing with comedians when I'm working with them, but when I'm not I don't feel the need to hang around with them. Jack Dee mixing comedian needs I don't like men who blow-dry their hair. If you are a man and you blow-dry your hair, then I don't like you and that's all there is to it. Jack Dee blow hair men Well, I don't ever get excited. I haven't been excited since I got a Chopper bicycle when I was about 12. Once you get older you realise there's always a catch to everything. So when I get, say, a commission to make a TV show, the catch is that you have to deliver something and then the sense of responsibility overwhelms the joy of the occasion. Jack Dee tv-shows responsibility joy I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough. Jack Dee cautiousness people thinking Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character. Jack Dee roles acting character In many ways, not fitting in has been a comedic asset and a comedic resource. Jack Dee assets fitting way
