Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh. Kumail Nanjiani More Quotes by Kumail Nanjiani More Quotes From Kumail Nanjiani We only hear success stories. You don't hear about the hundreds and hundreds - the overwhelming majority that don't go anywhere. This is a more realistic portrayal of what happens in startups. Kumail Nanjiani realistic majority stories I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity. Kumail Nanjiani insecurity feelings thinking You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!' and do something. Its specific hours set aside every day for certain things. Kumail Nanjiani hours discipline needs I thought of America as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue. Kumail Nanjiani pakistan crazy america The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of violence and corruption. Kumail Nanjiani scary religious america I was extremely shy and had a terrible fear of public speaking. But I had fallen in love with stand-up. Kumail Nanjiani public-speaking fallen shy On stage I just have to be myself. In acting you have to be so many other people. Kumail Nanjiani stage acting people I am a very nerdy guy. I understand that it's easier to cast me as a nerdy guy than an action star - although I would love to be an action star! Kumail Nanjiani guy stars action My stories take three or four months to fix, and it's not magical of a process. Ultimately it's a boring, difficult process. I write everything out, and then the parts I think are funny I put in bold. Then I go perform it. Then the parts that aren't funny, I unbold them. Kumail Nanjiani three writing thinking The whole religion of Islam is based on reward and punishment and reward and punishment, and it becomes a part of how you think of everything. Even yourself. Kumail Nanjiani religion-of-islam punishment thinking Philosophy is problem-solving. There's a philosophical problem, and then you try to solve it by approaching it from different angles and seeing what way works. That's what comedy is: you have a topic and you try to just hit it as many different ways as you can. Kumail Nanjiani philosophical trying philosophy Im from a family of doctors, and I think they really wanted me to be a doctor. I even sort of assumed I would be a doctor. Kumail Nanjiani doctors would-be thinking I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online. Kumail Nanjiani thanksgiving wall friday Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists. Kumail Nanjiani vampire monsters mean It wasn't until I moved to New York that I decided to make a conscious effort to be myself. Kumail Nanjiani effort conscious new-york It's not like I listened to music and then stopped. I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't really start listening to it until my 20s. Kumail Nanjiani real listening appreciation I love constructive criticism. I love getting notes when I'm acting. I love them telling me what to do. I don't always agree with it, but I really need it. Kumail Nanjiani acting criticism needs I was on this path to becoming a computer-science guy, but I didn't like it. I got no joy from it. It was very, very scary. It was suffocating to think that I was just going to do this thing for the rest of my life. Kumail Nanjiani guy joy thinking I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it. Kumail Nanjiani new-york moving firsts I would say I try to make my comedy really personal. I try to tell stories that happened to me, experiences from my life. Kumail Nanjiani comedy stories trying
