Standardized tests don't care if you're white or black, short or tall, or even the rate at which you learned the course material. At the end of the day, all it cares about is whether you know what you're supposed to know. It can't be cheated, bent, or bargained with.

Steven Crowder

Categorized in : You Day Care Black

I know everybody says that their bride was the 'most beautiful in the world.' They're wrong. I win.

Steven Crowder

bride win beautiful world

If you're unhappy with your circumstances, then change them. Don't blame the government or your boss or the guy down the street who's better looking than you (exceptions include Hugh Jackman and George Clooney). Just take some Pepto-Bismol and be a man (or woman, for all of you bullish feminists).

Steven Crowder

woman you man change

Is discipline (both mental and physical) in place of coddling truly child abuse? I don't know, but it sure as hell is effective.

Steven Crowder

place child hell discipline

At the end of the day, when I kick back with some barbecue and a CokeZero in front of a blockbuster film playing within the convenience of my fully air-conditioned house, I'll say a small prayer thanking God for the American culture.

Steven Crowder

day prayer god culture

For years, young adults have adopted extremely liberal world views in their attempts to be different, ultimately failing to see the irony that they've all become the same.

Steven Crowder

be-different see young world

Folks, it's okay to find flamboyant homosexuality funny.

Steven Crowder

find homosexuality okay funny

Living in N.Y.C. has truly awakened me to the New York elite and their penchant for the city's self-described brilliant public transit system. I think it sucks... just like public transit always does.

Steven Crowder

city new think me

Liberals don't believe in the ultimate concept of self-reliance, which is why they look to the government for stability.

Steven Crowder

why look government believe

When it comes to efficiency, standardized tests almost sound heaven-sent.

Steven Crowder

standardized efficiency tests sound

It's no secret that the environmental movement is ultimately designed to create new inroads into increased government control. All of the shots taken at emissions, the dependence on fossil fuels, and noise pollution are designed to paint those things as symptoms of a problem, with the government able to step in as the solution.

Steven Crowder

step environmental government problem

Everybody has an angle. The only time I say no to an interview is when someone says they don't have an angle. I know right away that that's not honest.

Steven Crowder

say someone know time

How can the country that created electricity, the light bulb, modern cinema as we know it, and the Oscar Meyer Weenie Whistle not be purely awesome?

Steven Crowder

know cinema light country

Your wedding can be the most memorable day and night of your life... or just another party.

Steven Crowder

day wedding night life

I'm guessing that ability to withstand peer pressure and adhere to one's values might translate to the kind of backbone necessary for a successful lifelong relationship.

Steven Crowder

values ability pressure relationship

More often than not, people who are poor... are right where they should be.

Steven Crowder

right more poor people

I consider myself to be a man with my priorities in order.

Steven Crowder

myself man priorities be-a-man

Listen, one doesn't need to be religious (nor a rocket scientist) to see the value of abstinence.

Steven Crowder

listen value need see

Needless to say, oftentimes a 'religion' is not needed to breed extremism. People breed it all by themselves, oftentimes with the subjective morality of modern secularism breeding the worst kind.

Steven Crowder

say morality people religion

When men get together, they moan about their wives. The commentary provided on marriage between groups of men is typically one from a viewpoint that assumes marriage to be life's greatest, most unfun mistake. Not only is it often as disingenuous as Joe Biden's hairline, but it's incredibly harmful.

Steven Crowder

marriage together men life

'America has no culture!' is a phrase that we've all heard many times in our lives. As is often the case, a lie repeated often enough becomes an assumed truth (kind of like the tall tale of Janeane Garofalo being a comedian).

Steven Crowder

lie truth enough culture