Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody. Dick Van Dyke More Quotes by Dick Van Dyke More Quotes From Dick Van Dyke We should never judge a day by its weather. Dick Van Dyke judging weather inspirational Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. Dick Van Dyke funny-inspirational women success You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly. Dick Van Dyke peanuts jelly peanut-butter The secret to keeping moving is keeping moving. Dick Van Dyke secret moving Somebody asked what I wanted on my gravestone. I'm just going to put: 'Glad I Could Help.' Dick Van Dyke gravestone wanted helping I didn't know the answers, but I could feel that the things that gave life meaning came from a place within and from the nurturing of values like tolerance, charity, and community. Dick Van Dyke meaning-of-life tolerance community You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Attitude is almost more important than what happens to you. Dick Van Dyke important attitude laughing Walt Disney and I always said we were two children looking for our inner adults. Dick Van Dyke adults two children In my seventies, I exercised to stay ambulatory. In my eighties, I exercise to avoid assisted living. Dick Van Dyke seventies eighty exercise You need someone to love, and something to do that you enjoy, and something to hope for, and that's enough for me. Dick Van Dyke enjoy enough needs If you spend your life thinking, "I wonder if today is when it ends," you're going to miss out on everything wonderful. Dick Van Dyke missing today thinking I taught Sunday school when I was younger, and ended up an elder in the church, and it just seemed to me that a lot of people who went to church certainly weren't - the rest of the week - living what I would call an Christian life. Dick Van Dyke sunday christian school Hope is life's essential nutrient, and love is what gives life meaning Dick Van Dyke and-love love-is giving I wanted to be Stan Laurel, then I wanted to be Fred Astaire and then Captain Kangaroo. I actually started out as a radio announcer when I was 17 and never left the business so that's literally 70 years. Dick Van Dyke captains radio years When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young. Dick Van Dyke comedian home kids I got into a Broadway show before I ever sang and danced. I learned how after I got in the show. Dick Van Dyke broadway-shows broadway shows People think I'm talking like I'm in perfect health, but I have all the infirmities for my age. I have arthritis and all those things. But if you keep moving, that won't bother you. Dick Van Dyke talking moving thinking I think that's the answer to a good marriage. Everyone has their own room. Dick Van Dyke answers rooms thinking Only funny line I've had was my first day on the set of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They were making me up, and I saw the director call the makeup man over, and he says "What are we going to do about the hooter?" And the makeup guy said, "I'm not a plastic surgeon." So I started that show with a big nose, and quite conscious of it. Dick Van Dyke makeup guy men I wasn't a falling-in-the-gutter type. I drank at home because it relaxed me. I was shy around new people, but after a drink or two, I became more sociable. Dick Van Dyke home two fall
