Douglas Adams: "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass...

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

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crazy god funny

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.

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destiny uplifting inspirational

It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

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president jobs people

If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else.

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want trying way

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

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hilarious inspirational love

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

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wisdom education funny

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.

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new-york success war

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

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badass philosophy thinking

I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.

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atheist inspirational life

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

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fear witty funny

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

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educational money leadership

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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humor education funny

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

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humor science thinking

The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making.

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assumption statistics knows

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

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hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy happened moments

There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.

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logic impossible life

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

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positive life travel

We all like to congregate at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where bodies meet mind. Where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other.

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air clouds time

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

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humor witty funny

2,000 years ago one man got nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be if everyone was nice to each other for a change.

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friday nice men

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."