Margaret Smith Professions : Comic Browse All Authors Top 13 quotes by Margaret Smith My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? Margaret Smith witty funny death I went out to dinner with a Marine last weekend. He looked across the table and he goes, "I could kill you in seven seconds." I go, "I'll just have toast, then." Margaret Smith marine humor funny There's a light at the end of the tunnel. And it's a train. Margaret Smith sassy tunnels positive If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said "No." Margaret Smith mary said religion Only when all images of Earth are hushed and the clamor of the senses be stilled, and the soul has passed beyond thought of self, can the eternal wisdom be revealed to the mystic who seeks that highest communion with the unseen. Margaret Smith unseen soul self Safety was not a big thing when I was growing up. A seat belt was something that got in the way: 'Ma, the seat belt is digging into my back.' 'Stuff it down into the seat. And roll those windows up, you're letting the smoke out' Margaret Smith growing-up safety stuff I hate people. People make me pro-nuclear. Margaret Smith nuclear hate people I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in. Margaret Smith women memorable running Sin recognized but that may keep us humble, But oh, it keeps us nasty. Margaret Smith nasty humble may I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes. Margaret Smith tape lasts relationship The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently. Margaret Smith contraception naughty birth-control My mom's Jewish and my dad's Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside. Margaret Smith dad mom drinking My femininity is always something I've tried to preserve in this dog-eat-dog world. Margaret Smith femininity dog world Similar Authors Irwin Corey comic Imogene Coca comic Deon Cole comic Cheri Oteri comic Chris Parnell comic Gabriel Iglesias comic All Authors
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