Tian Dayton

Born :

1950

We forgive, if we are wise, not for the other person, but for ourselves. We forgive, not to erase a wrong, but to relieve the residue of the wrong that is alive within us. We forgive because it is less painful than holding on to resentment. We forgive because without it we condemn ourselves to repeating endlessly the very trauma or situation that hurt us so. We forgive because ultimately it is the smartest action to take on our own behalf. We forgive because it restores to us a sense of inner balance.

forgiveness hurt wise

Suffering is to the heart and soul as tears are to the eyes, cleansing and expelling toxicity from the inner system. When we do not allow ourselves to feel appropriate pain, we move into a sort of non-experience. We watch life rather than live it; we look but never get too close.

pain heart moving

Part of what makes a situation traumatic is not talking about it. Talking reduces trauma symptoms. When we don't talk about trauma, we remain emotionally illiterate. Our most powerful feelings go unnamed and unspoken.

powerful silence talking

Above all, anger needs to be felt so it can be talked through, understood and integrated, rather than acted out. In this way, it cleanses the self.

anger self needs

All the wisdom in the world cannot put in one's heart the love one yearned for as a small child.

heart children world

Accumulating years in the act of living is no guarantee of maturity. In fact, it is possible to be born, grow old and die without ever maturing.

maturity guarantees years

Neural repatterning comes as we enter into and sustain new types of relationships that allow us to reregulate our sense impressions slowly and over time.

type impression

The family is both mystery and reality; it houses our bodies and our spirits.

family house reality

Only when we stop holding others accountable for all of our troubles can we truly be free.

blame responsibility trouble

There is no wisdom without mastery over the mystery of our internal world, the world that opens the door to understanding others.

mastery understanding doors

Shame is quicksand on the path to soul.

shame soul path

We live in a culture that paces itself to the speed of machines. We are trying like good little robots to match our speed with theirs. Humans cannot move at the same rate as machines. When we attempt to, we lose contact with our own humanness.

robots trying moving

Our limbic system sets the mind's emotional tone and stores our highly charged emotional memories.

emotional mind memories