I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese. Craig Kilborn More Quotes by Craig Kilborn More Quotes From Craig Kilborn Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.' Craig Kilborn presidentwhitehouse A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone. Craig Kilborn phonescollegedrinking Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman. Craig Kilborn successfuldogfunny Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card. Craig Kilborn wifegoldcards In a new poll 54 percent believed President Bush exaggerated the size of Iraq's missile threat. Hey, he's a guy. Craig Kilborn iraqguypresident My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.' Craig Kilborn misanthropebrotherpeople I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California. Craig Kilborn californiasimplepeople I pride myself on being down-to-earth. I’m from the Midwest. People who go into show business are screwed up. I romanticized about having a serene life. Craig Kilborn show-businessshowspeople Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place. Craig Kilborn dark-placescomedydark The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on. Craig Kilborn moved-onpastyears Critics say Arnold has no previous government experience, but advisers say he's clearly the most qualified Austrian, ex-Mr. Universe in the race. Craig Kilborn criticsgovernmentrace Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek. Craig Kilborn causesviceswinning Or as hockey player Sergei Fedorov knows it, 'The day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.' Craig Kilborn hockeyplayersleep Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II Craig Kilborn kindergartenvoterunning I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way. Craig Kilborn viewspeoplethinking President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one. Craig Kilborn vietnampresidentwar Saddam Hussein is about to face trial and George Bush wants to execute him. Not because of the war crimes, but because Saddam is beating him in the polls. Craig Kilborn husseintrialswar The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk. Craig Kilborn presidenthurtnumbers With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something. Craig Kilborn weekendcuttingresponsibility President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before. Craig Kilborn moonpresidentmen
