Kyle Kinane Professions : Comedian Born : December 23, 1976 Browse All Authors Top 30 quotes by Kyle Kinane I'm not on this earth to be a goalie. I'm not here to stop somebody from accomplishing their goals. If you're not hurting anybody, I'm here to either assist or get out of the way Kyle Kinane accomplishment goal hurt I eat the same way Doc Brown fuels the DeLorean at the end of Back to the Future. Kyle Kinane fuel ends way It's a Vietnamese soup that answers the question, 'What happens when a former child soldier pours hot rain water over fish nightmares.' It's delicious and I can't stop eating it, that's what happens. Kyle Kinane rain water children I was raised Catholic in the Midwest, so I cant enjoy anything. Kyle Kinane midwest enjoy catholic What is there to say about ChUC other than it's a comedy show done the right way in the right space. Fantastic comics, welcoming audience. Always great. Kyle Kinane space done way I am somehow allowed by the universe to do exactly what I want to do to make a living. Kyle Kinane universe want Sometimes your dreams come true, and its a real drag. Kyle Kinane real dream sometimes What a great unifier getting scared is. Not in an actual threatening, real-world way, but getting scared from horror movies or haunted houses or ghost stories. You laugh because it's a release. People laugh when they're nervous. I laugh so much at a haunted house. It's out of fear, but it's also a wonderful release. Getting scared like that, you feel good, and you feel exhilarated afterwards. Kyle Kinane house laughing people Comedy doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious and beat you over the head. It can be this really small detail that, when it computes in your brain, you think, "That's great. That's masterful." Kyle Kinane comedy brain thinking The weight of the world isn't on their shoulders as much in Canada as opposed to America. Americans' perception of it is, "Oh, it seems like a pretty nice place to live. And everyone there is nice. So if people around you are nice, you have a tendency to be nicer." What a wonderful lesson for the rest of the world: Just let a little kindness rub off on you. Kyle Kinane nice kindness people How can you feel like an actual member of society casting a vote for a president when in a professional interview you said that farts make you laugh? And you're a professional in comedy? But then, have you ever seen a video of a small dog that farts? Welp. I don't need to explain that anymore. If you can't see the humor in that, good luck being a CEO somewhere where I'm not going to understand you. It's a harmless thing to laugh at. It's humor that's not at the expense of someone else. And it's silly. It's juvenile. Kyle Kinane good-luck dog silly The time that I have on this earth should just be filled with good times. Kyle Kinane good-times should earth Young writers take themselves very seriously in college. Kyle Kinane young-writers college young The exciting part about life is finding out what you can't do, because you don't find out until you try to do something and you're stopped. Kyle Kinane finding try you life Sometimes I realize halfway through a story, I'm like, 'Why would anyone care about this? It's uninteresting.' Kyle Kinane realize story care sometimes My theory on politics is no one really knows how it works, so I choose not to comment on stuff too outside of my league. Kyle Kinane choose outside how politics I'm glad I'm a comedian. Otherwise, my life would just be a series of undocumented low points. Kyle Kinane low my-life just life The category I come closest to is 'lumberjack hipster.' Kyle Kinane category come closest I like to challenge myself not to be negative, because it's easy to take comedy to a negative place and criticize the outside world. Trying to praise something through comedy or be appreciative and making jokes about it is more challenging than cutting things down. Kyle Kinane challenge myself negative world I now get to have the life I wanted when I was 18 years old. Now, I'm like, 'I can buy any skateboard I want.' Kyle Kinane like i-can want life Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
